Sometimes Goodbye is a Second Chance
by thegoodgirldoll
Summary: She knew him in a way he didn't even know himself; he understood her in ways she never could on her own. He vowed to himself that he would protect her, and it gave them a second chance. Can they base their relationship off a fresh start, or will their love deal them horrifying consequences?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: My first Degrassi story! I am SO nervous, so I really hope you enjoy! **

**My reason for writing this so soon, is TurboWiz- Thank you for encouraging me and writing the best Degrassi story I have read so far. You're my inspiration for this fandom. **

**Blessings,**

**Sarah.**

"_You're smothering me, Eli. You knew I would come. You're manipulating me." _

Eli awoke abruptly, his dreams of Clare in the recent months being nothing new. In frustration, he groaned and pushed himself out of bed. Yes, the last few months had been particularly tough. He had taken his and Clare's split hard, but lately, he had been thinking of her so much more. He had never cared about Julia as much as he cared for Clare. He supposed that was because Julia had been his first real taste of what relationships were, but that it had only been puppy love. He hadn't known what love truly was until he had met Clare. Now, he knew that love meant sometimes sacrificing for the other. He knew that it meant sometimes, you had to give up who you love for their own good. With all this in mind, it had surprised him that he actually came this year. But he had come often when it first happened, and especially during her birthday month. Something inside him beckoned him back to this place over the holiday season; her birthday week. He had to visit Julia one last time. He felt remorseful for shooting her picture at the church; sorry for blaming his problems with Clare on her. Their last fight came back to him in a painful whirlwind of memories, screaming at him as she had. He wished he had gotten it then; wished he could go back and change it. But he couldn't. He couldn't go back and stop yelling at her to leave. He couldn't go back and stop her from finally going- and getting killed for it. Eli knew that Julia's death was his fault. He had always brought out the anger in her; the impulsiveness. She would still be alive if he hadn't crossed her path. He didn't want to do the same to Clare, and he hoped he already hadn't.

He leaned his folded arms against the balcony, breathing in the fresh scent of pine and feeling the cold Michigan air hit his cheeks. Julia had been buried here, alongside her biological father. She had always expressed to her mother that whenever she kicked the bucket, she wanted to be with her Dad, and not in the state her mother her dragged her too with her stepfather. She could never get along with either of them, and her father had been her only real connection in life besides Eli and his family. Bullfrog and CeCe had become the parents to her she always wished for, and Eli felt terrible for ruining that for her too. Deciding to waste no more time, and wanting to get this over with early, Eli grabbed his jeans and slipped one leg at a time into the warmth of the black denim. He took his coat off the edge of the bed and secured the heavy buttons, locking his body in warm heat to fight against the snow. It didn't take him long to take an elevator to the bottom floor of the hotel, and he walked into the chilly morning air quickly.

"You can't say I never did _anything _for you," he spoke to the air grimly. "God, Julia I did everything I could."

He hastened his pace, feeling a bit apprehensive about visiting the graveyard. Usually, he wasn't so edgy, but today he felt so _wrong. _He knew he shouldn't feel that way, because he wasn't technically dating Clare. But still, shouldn't he have told her he was visiting Julia's grave over break? He shook that thought off quickly.

"Come on, Eli, you don't have to tell her everything. That's what she called _smothering." _

He continued on, watching the vibrantly colored butterflies trickling in through spaces in the gate. The wrought iron bars were ajar and Eli pushed the gate open all the way before walking inside. He focused his eyes on the far end of the gravesite. He knew her plot like the back of his hand- it never moved, just like she never did. He stared at it for a few hard moments, then swallowed thickly and sunk to his knees in front of her.

"_What do you want me to do, Eli, beg? I did NOTHING! I'm tired of being accused! You won't believe me unless I'm on my knees before you, will you?"_

Her screams haunted him; he was sure she would never go away.

"It's me who needs to be on my knees in front of you, Julia," Eli whispered, touching his fingers to the cold marble.

"I hope you aren't cold. It's almost a few degrees below out here," he stated absentmindedly, not sure what to say.

"How would you like me to say goodbye?" He asked in desperation, hot tears bursting from his eyes. "How in the world do I say sorry to you?"

"You don't have to say sorry to her, Eli."

Eli froze, breathing out a cloud of white breath before turning his head slowly to the owner of that voice.

"Clare," he breathed against the cold, standing abruptly. "What are you doing here?"

Clare looked into his eyes, her blue orbs glistening with unshed tears. As he stared back into her eyes, the day he first met her came flooding into his memory, replacing the cold memories of Julia with warm ones of a future with Clare.

"I know I asked you not to smother me, Eli, but I guess I wanted to see what it was like for once."

Eli knew she would have chuckled to ease the tension if it wasn't a situation that did indeed call for complete seriousness.

"I asked your Dad where you were going for break, just so I knew if I could send you a text or two, and when he said you'd probably be coming here today…I had to come. For you."

"Why?" He asked, only a bit annoyed. Clare could sense the edginess in his voice, and grimaced at the obvious abandon of his medication and therapy sessions.

"You don't have to be angry, or embarrassed, or whatever you're feeli-"

"-_Clare, please, _I am _none _of those things. If we ever got a chance to start over, I'd want a completely fresh beginning."

Eli took in a deep breath and looked back at Julia's gravestone, a small smile playing on his lips.

"That's why I came here," he confessed to her. "I came to finally say goodbye."

"Eli, you know you didn't have to do this."

Eli nodded mechanically, still staring at her name.

"_Julia AnnMarie," _Clare quoted from the stone. "She had a beautiful name."

"She did," Eli choked out.

"Eli," Clare stepped closer to him and rested a hand on his shoulder.

Eli reached his hand up to hers and their gloves met, though against the fabric he still felt her warmth.

"How can you be so sweet, Clare? How can you always forgive?"

"It gets easier," she replied. "Especially when you love somebody."

"Do you think Julia would have forgiven me?"

Clare sucked in a deep breath of cold air, and puffed it out slowly in short wisps of smoke. Finally, her lips parted in a soft smile, her cheeks snow kissed, and nodded.

"I don't see how she wouldn't."

Eli stared ahead into the distance now, thoughts of Julia seeming to be so far in the past. With his final ounce of courage, he pressed out curiously: "Will _you _forgive me?"

He turned to face her now, and she took a step closer to him, filling the gap between them.

"I told you forgiving is easier when you love somebody, Eli," she leaned up on tip-toe, kissing him softly.

Eli's eyes fluttered closed at the same time as hers, loosing himself against her kiss and forgiveness. He hoped that he could always return to this moment when he felt impulsive or angry; when he was about to cross the line of protective/smothering. Clare rested her head against his chest, the chill of his metal guitar pick necklace hitting her cheek.

"I love you, Clare," he whispered into her hair as the wind kicked up.

"I love you too, Eli," she spoke quieter, closing her eyes as tears cascaded down her cheeks. "I never stopped."

**Author's Note: Like I said, I am so nervous about this. I am really happy that all of this came so easily, but I hope I wrote them well and that this was believable. I absolutely LOVE Eli and Clare- I just think their flaws make them even more beautiful. I hope I can do the story I have planned for them justice. Please review! I will continue if you all like it, and I will improve on anything you all may find wrong! Thank you all in advance, and thank YOU again, Turbo! **

**God Bless,**

**Sarah. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Sorry it's taken a bit to update, but here is chapter two! Enjoy, and please review! Thank you for the support of chapter one- it means a lot that you guys like it so much already! **

**God Bless,**

**Sarah**

Eli opened the door to his hotel room quickly, shivering from the sudden change of temperature. His body warmed immediately, though as he felt the heat of his room.

"Must've came by and adjusted the thermostat," he stated quietly, un-buttoning his coat.

"It's so warm," Clare agreed, removing her gloves and taking a seat on the edge of his bed.

"How long are you staying for?"

"I booked a ticket for two days. I'm staying in the hotel across the street," Clare replied. "How long are you staying?"

"I just came to say goodbye. I'll be leaving tomorrow afternoon…I've been here a few days already."

"Ah," Clare replied softly, swinging her feet gently as she watched Eli strip down from his coat, boots, and gloves, to only his jeans and a black T-shirt. He pulled the hoodie he had on under his coat over his head, and Clare watch the broad length of skin he showed by pulling his shirt with the hoodie. She blushed as he looked back at her, covering his chest and stomach once more.

"I do believe you were watching me, Miss Edwards. Trying to see if I sparkle?"

She chucked a pillow at him off the bed, laughing, before she noticed the slip of paper that fell out from it. She noticed that the pillow was covered with his own pillowcase; it was cute to her, how he made himself at home. She jumped up to retrieve the paper, curious as to what it was, and snatched it up before he could. She smiled at him as he scratched the back of his head nervously and unfolded the paper. Her eyes widened as she looked from it, back to him.

"Eli, you _saved _this?"

"Well, y-yeah. Why wouldn't I?"

"I figured you'd hate me for it," she stated, handing him back the letter she had written him a week after their break up.

"Clare," he grabbed both of her shoulders gently. " I could never hate you."

"Why'd do you hold onto the letter, Eli?"

"Because one part stood out to me."

"Which part?" She asked breathlessly as their faces drew closer to each other.

"The one where you said you hoped that…One day, we could work things out."

She didn't have time to respond as Eli crashed his lips against hers. She kissed him back eagerly, relishing in the warmth of his body heat and she taste of his lips once more. She had missed this; kissing him, and holding him close to her. He tangled his fingers in her hair, running them through her messy, cold curls. They didn't pull away for quite some time; they held on tight to the kiss, finding their way back to the bed as Clare fell backwards and Eli followed on top. Their kissing didn't last much longer after that. Eli pulled away first, rubbing the side of her cheek as he caught his breath.

"Clare, we can't do this."

"Eli, what're yo-"

"-Clare, I want to make things right again…I want you to be mine. I think, that we skipped a few steps."

Clare shook her head. "Eli, I love you. I've missed you."

"I've missed you too, Clare. I've missed the Clare that I first met. Please don't change to cater to what you think I want…All I want is you."

Clare sat up slowly before leaning her head against his shoulder and breathing evenly. She didn't need to reply; she silently agreed with what he had said: it was everything she needed to hear.

"You can stay here tonight, if you want to, Clare," Eli offered, purely out of generosity. He had no ulterior motives- no other intentions.

Clare smiled slightly. "I think I may need to go home…To avoid you accidently stripping anymore, and therefore rendering myself too weak to resist you."

Eli laughed. "Alright, then. I will indeed be taking that as a compliment, _as well _as storing it in the back of my mind to pull out at a later time!"

Clare smiled. "Thanks for making me feel so welcome, Eli. I was worried you'd be angry that I came all this way…Your meeting with Julia was private; I'm sorry if you felt I was interrupting."

"Clare, you didn't interrupt anything. Don't worry."

"Thank you," she replied as she stood and grabbed her jacket. "I should be going."

"That's fine. You can call me later…If you'd like," he said as coolly as possible. "Oh, and Clare!" He added, grabbing her arm as she opened the door.

"Yes?"

"Maybe, tomorrow, before I leave, you can come by so we can talk things over? J-just an offer."

"I'd love that," she replied softly, kissing his cheek before continuing out the door.

He followed her with his eyes until she was out of his sight, and then shut the door gently. Leaning against it, he sighed heavily, a large grin falling onto his lips. He hadn't been able to imagine this happening…He knew Clare had been so fed up with him; so angry. He thought it would take months for her to forgive him; years for them to smooth things over. But it hadn't. Somehow, she had been able to get back to the roots of her religion; the loving depths of her heart that he had almost ripped from her. She was able to readily forgive like she had always been taught, and he would do everything in his power to never give her a reason to leave him again.

He never wanted her to walk away like she had that day at the hospital. She had left him heartbroken…But he had hurt her too, and he could never do that again.

**Author's Note: I hope this chapter was as enjoyable as the last one! The next chapter will start up when they go back to school. I may wait for the premier Monday, or I may write it sooner. It depends on if you all want me to follow the plot for this new season and sort of, expand on their scenes together and feelings, or if you want this to take a life of its own. I know I want him to win Clare back even though she's already come back. He's going to go a bit crazy, but out of love. Sorry for rambling! Please review!**

**God Bless,**

**Sarah **


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Sorry for the delay! I hope you guys enjoy and still review! **

**What do you think about this season so far? I LOVE it, but wish there was more EClare.**

**The thing is, their scenes are so much cuter since we have to wait for them, though. It's a win, win. Besides, now they're not smothering one another- they can actually last this time! J**

**Blessings,**

**Sarah.**

"Have you seen Eli?" Clare asked her group of friends as they walked towards the school. She held the strap of her book-bag tightly, her knuckles turning white in nervousness. She hadn't spoken to Eli except for one conversation on the phone since break. It hadn't worked out to visit him before he left the hotel, and they just didn't have time to be calling and talking to each other for awhile on the phone.

"No," everyone pretty much agreed, shaking their heads absentmindedly and continuing on with their conversations.

Clare sighed and veered off to the right, away from the group, entering the school through the theatre. She was sure if Eli was going to be anywhere before classes, it would be there. She opened the door quickly, shedding light on the darkness that was filling the theatre. She grinned as her assumptions were proved correct: Eli was sitting on the stage, notebook in hand as he drummed his pencil on the empty paper. He glanced up to see who had come in, and laughed as he realized it was Clare. He squinted his eyes and faked moaned as she walked closer to him.

"The light! It's blinding me! Tis why us vampires come out only at night!"

Clare laughed and sat next to him. "If you're a vampire and only come out at night then how did you get to school?"

"Why, I travelled in my cloud of black smoke, of course!" he laughed, hitting her nose with the eraser end of his pencil.

Clare rolled her eyes. "What are you working on? Or…attempting to work on?"

Eli looked down at the empty paper. "The latter is true. I _was _going to try to write out a play so I can present it to the staff early enough for it to be approved-"

"-But?"

"But…Apparently there is a new girl who wants to produce with me. First day and she already pitched an idea to the board."

"Are you kidding?" Clare asked, shocked. "How can a new girl just waltz into our school and do that?"

Eli threw his hands up in surrender, sending his notebook flying. "Don't ask me!"

Clare sighed and stood to get his notebook. She bent over quickly, holding her skirt to avoid giving Eli a show of her own. He grinned still, thanking her as he took the notebook back, and stood as well.

"I'm glad you're early; I have something for you."

Clare smiled. "Oh really?"

"Yes," he replied, walking over to his book-bag.

Clare stood behind him, waiting for him to give her whatever he was so anxious to. Eventually, he turned back around, handing her a cereal bar and a rose.

"Eli," Clare began quietly, smelling the flower.

He held his fingers up to her lips and shook his head. "Don't thank me. I know you don't eat in the mornings, and I was just trying to find something as pretty as you to go with your breakfast."

"Well I love Strawberry," she held up the bar. "And roses are my favorite, so _thank you." _

Eli rolled his eyes and pulled her close to him. She hugged him awkwardly, so as to avoid squishing the gifts, and then pulled away.

"I noticed something on my supply lists and class times that bothered me," Clare began.

"What's that?" Eli inquired, slinging his book-bag over his shoulder.

"We hardly have _any _classes together. In fact, I'm not sure we have _any."_

"Well, that's not surprising. Sad to me too, yes, but not surprising."

Clare sighed sadly as she took his hand and walked towards the door that led to the man hallways of their school.

"You're right, as always," she responded as he pushed the door open. "It isn't that surprising. They're trying to split everyone's classes. I only have like, two seniors in all of my classes throughout the day. I have no idea how that happened."

"It's alright. We can hangout plenty after school. Besides, who wants to make-out in the middle if Geography or Calculus anyway?"

Clare laughed. "Our lockers are together, though!" She beamed.

"Is this why you asked for all my info when you texted me last night? Trying to stalk out all my classes and my locker whereabouts? Do you know my combination too?" He joked.

"I dunno," Clare asked, thinking back to the lock on his bedroom door. "_Do I?" _

Eli rolled his eyes. "No, you don't. As a matter of fact, it's today's date."

"W-why?" Clare asked, confused.

Eli leaned against his locker as Clare opened hers, but stop midway to stare at him.

"Well, because today is special."

"It is?" Clare asked, still confused.

"Today, I am asking the most beautiful girl in the world, if she will be mine again."

Clare smiled largely. "Eli, real-"

"-Clare, will you be my girlfriend? Will you let me take care of you the way that I should, and protect you with everything I have?" He took her hands in both of his own.

"Of course, Eli!" She said quickly, flinging her arms around his neck.

Eli buried his face into her hair and breathed in its scent. "I know we haven't gotten to talk about it much, Clare, but everything that we went through is in the past…I want to start new with you. I won't let you down."

"I know you won't," Clare replied, her breath warming his ear. "We get to start fresh."

His grip on her tightened as he smiled. "Yes, we do."


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: Hello, everyone! Sorry this took so long to get up…I have no excuse except writer's block! Please give me ideas for what you want in the next chapter(s)! It would be greatly appreciated, and I will most likely use your ideas!**

**This chapter is mainly full of fluff, as will be the next one, so just enjoy, and please review! **

**God Bless,**

**Sarah.**

"This girl is the most annoying human being to have ever walked the Earth."

"What did she do now?" Clare asked as she sat next to Eli with her lunch.

The conversation they know found themselves in was a normal occurrence for this year- Eli absolutely hated Becky Baker, and with how terrible she sounded to be treating her boyfriend, Clare was beginning to hate her too.

"She totally took over the idea for the play. I _finally _perfected a modern day Romeo and Juliet, and _then _I go to pitch it, and _she _has _already _pitched an idea, and, _and get this! _Her idea was _approved!" _

"So what now? They kicked you off theatre?"

"No, but just as bad: They're making me do the play alongside her."

"Can't you just talk to them about it? I mean, not to be unfair, but you _were _there first."

"I know, but I guess it doesn't work that way."

"Well you're an amazing director. You can't let this stop you."

"I won't. It's just tough, you know? Theatre is _my thing!" _He all but growled.

Clare swallowed thickly, noticing the same anger that she hadn't seen on him in so long run across his face. But as quickly as it had come, it was gone, and she calmed herself. She rested a hand on his shoulder and gently massaged it for a moment.

"Eli, you're the best play-writer, you have to keep trying. So what she chose the play? You can leave little pieces of you all throughout it…The dialogue; sets. Cheer up."

Eli turned to face her and smiled, pulling her face close to his and kissing her softly.

"You always know how to lighten my mood," he said quietly against her mouth.

Clare bit her lip as she pulled away, taking his hand as he stood and offered his own to her.

"How do you feel about ditching this place for lunch at The Dot?" Eli asked as walked away from where they had been sitting in the hallway.

Everyone was either in their next class already, or eating lunch, and Eli had indeed promised Clare a day out to eat sometime during the week.

"I'd love that," Clare replied, linking arms with him as they walked to the office to sign out and then leave.

* * *

They walked hand in hand to the Dot, which took them all but ten minutes. It warmed Eli inside to feel Clare's hand linked in his own once more- he never thought he would feel that again. It meant a lot to him that she had given him a second chance, and he didn't want to blow it. He especially didn't want to blow it over another girl. So what Becky was taking over his turf? It wasn't worth losing Clare over; he would have to take her advice and just not quit. Eli was never a quitter, though anyway, was he? He had worked hard for his spot in theatre; worked hard to build Clare's trust again. He had even worked hard to buy Morty, and then get over the guilt of crashing him. Yes, Eli pressed onward through everything he did and came out with flying colors- it was time he showed Becky Baker just who was boss of the theatre.

This was the perfect opportunity for him to prove to Clare that he could be levelheaded and kind. He could finally show her what a stable human being he truly was…It was time to grow up. Smiling to himself as he settled on this revelation, he opened the door to The Dot for her and offered her his jacket as they stepped inside and she shivered. The goose bumps that appeared on her were almost immediate, but they didn't surprise Eli. They had been to The Dot various times before and he had always given her his jacket or reminded her to bring her own- she was always freezing in restaurants, but for him it was the opposite. With so many people around you and therefore, so much body heat, Eli could never understand how one could be cold whilst eating among others- but it was his Clare he was talking about…Anything she did was adorable, not confusing.

They found a seat quickly and talked for awhile longer before ordering. Since electives were so slow the first few days back, and no one was sure what classes they were going to stay in and which they were going to change, they didn't have to be back at school for another forty-five minutes. Both of their smiles displayed the happiness they had at simply spending time together, and Clare let her mind wander to how much she could truly now believe this was happening. It was so amazing to her to see Eli so happy and carefree; to feel unafraid to just tell him anything and everything. She told him what career she was thinking of pursuing, she told him that she was going to sleepover Allie's tomorrow night, and she even asked him how his medication was. He had smiled, answered, and been excited for all of those statements and questions and more. Her mind was at complete ease as they slipped in and out of conversation, munching on their sandwiches and chips. For a moment, Clare forget that they were even dating again…It felt like she was talking to him while holding nothing back, so that meant they were only friends, right? Still hurt by the breakup?

But no, they were a couple again. They were actually talking, with no obsession, and no yelling. There was no more Julia, and no more spurts of anger. There was no more asking his permission, or being afraid of his answers. It was just her, and him. And as they finished eating, Clare didn't feel relief that they had been it through an outing without a fight, but she felt sadness wondering when they would do this again sometime.

And then, as he held the door for her, and whispered "you look beautiful today, by the way," as she walked past him, Clare's heart melted and she set their next 'date' for that night- his house.


End file.
